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Normalcy
Episode 5, Season 4 of War. Enjoy <3 Normalcy My nightmares always start the same. Always a happy memory first. Laughing with my father, talking with Gorsefur, playing with Riverkit. And then my mother, screaming. Begging me not to go, pleading for me to stay, telling me to be careful. FireClan claws, dragging me down, spilling my blood as my mother shrieks. Tonight was different. I was in Summerstorm. Riverkit toddles around and my squad isn't there. Just me and my home. And then a cry goes up, and another. I can't move because roots have grown from my claws and they dig into the earth, but I tug and pull and yowl as a FireClan tom advances on my mother. And I watch her die. Her mouth forms my name and she falls. I wake with a wail. Everything is still around me. The grass whispers softly as a warm breeze whisks cool scents into the night. I can see the border, see trees that belong to FireClan and the land that carries their scent. "Brookfall?" I turn and see luminous golden eyes. By their shade I can tell it's Gorsefur, but I still wait for a moment for my eyes to adjust, to see his lank gray form, before I meow, "Sorry, did I wake you?" "Nightmare?" he asks, avoiding my question. I briefly consider trying to blow it off, but I nod slowly. "My mother. Dying." He pads over, curls next to me. "I'm sorry," he whispers. "It's funny. Ever since I got drafted, when I have nightmares, it's always her talking about how I'm going to get killed." I let out a mirthless purr. "Guess things'll be changing now." Gorsefur doesn't say anything, but he presses against me. I curl up and, even though I don't think I will, I fall asleep listening to the sound of Gorsefur's heart beating. I wake with a start. The others are up, stretching, or still snoring, in Oakclaw's case. Gorsefur isn't beside me anymore and I feel a sudden pang of loss, which is ridiculous. Straightening my shoulders, I stand and pad over to where Adderscar and Briarclaw sit arguing. "-we should charge straight in-" "Obvious much?" Briarclaw interrupts, scoffing. "We should sneak around and-" "Right after the siege they won't expect such a direct assault." Adderscar argues. "It's-" "Hey," I meow. "Anyone gone hunting?" "Yes!" they shout at the same time, glaring at me. Slowly, I back away, remembering that's what you're supposed to do when confronted with angry badgers. I find the prey, where Gorsefur, Shadowsong, and Oakclaw sit, chatting. "Mom and dad are fighting again." Shadowsong snorts and tosses me a mouse. She looks better- her eyes brighter. There aren't any cobwebs left on her stomach, but an angry scar still stands there. I know Shadowsong isn't a she-cat to get worked up over that kind of thing, but I still feel bad for her. She was nearly martyred in the line of duty, and yet, here she is, ready to fight FireClan again. It makes me feel guilty, for assuming my problems are so horrific. The whole fighting FireClan again is part of Waterstar's effort to regain our Clan's footing in the war and try to get some breathing room before EarthClan announces where they stand on the war. So she sent us out here to the border to take care of some menial FireClan squad. Nothing major, just blessed normalcy. Today we're meant to be scouting. Stormflight and Grayleaf are out getting some herbs, just in case (there always seems to be a 'just in case' with us). Adderscar and Briarclaw seem to be winding down and the rest of us just talk and revel in the fact there is no siege, there is no dying friend or hostage crisis. There is just this. "Ready?" Gorsefur asks as Briarclaw and Adderscar reappear. "What's the plan." "Sneaking around," Briarclaw replies smugly. "Adderscar, you're growing weak in your old age!" Oakclaw meows in shock. Adderscar growls and there's a moment of tension. With Adderscar having returned from his trip to FireClan, our squad is now one bigger than it needs to be. He and Briarclaw butt heads all the time and it's starting to grate on all of us. "Well, let's go. Shadowsong and Oakclaw, take point, Brookfall and I will flank, and Adderscar and Briarclaw will reinforce. Let's go." Gorsefur leads the way to the border and I feel an inkling of pride that I get to be his partner. Crossing the border long ago became something of habit, so I barely feel the urge to turn back as I step into FireClan land. Shadowsong's whiskers twitch slightly, but other than that, everyone looks calm and cold. We creep into the undergrowth, scenting for the camp. Oakclaw flicks his tail and we pad towards him and Shadowsong. Another flick tells us the camp is ahead of us. Gorsefur and I head to the right, the brains to the left, and Oakclaw and Shadowsong keep prowling ahead. I begin to hear voices and my fur prickles. Finally, I can see the camp. "-better go patrol." a she-cat is saying. "Someone better get the commander." a wiry tom meows, rolling his eyes but purring affectionately. "Hey, he deserves some rest," a big tom defends, getting to his paws. "I mean, he did just get out of prison." There are some mutters and I glance at Gorsefur. When I look up, the big tom is shaking awake a golden furred tom sleeping in a nest on the edge of the clearing. The tom blinks, green eyes bright in the sunlight. There's something familiar about him and my blood runs cold when the big toms speaks. "Up and at 'em Sunstreak. We have patrol." "Sunstreak," I murmur. "Freaking dirt Sunstreak." Gorsefur's eyes are dark with anger. "You said the penalty for treason was death!" I spin on him. "It is! But interrogations can take a long time...he must have been busted out of prison by Thundercloud and his FireClan lackeys." "They weren't lackeys," Stormflight mutters. We all glare at him and he shrugs. "This is ridiculous," I growl. It was my first mission. We were sent to Tall Rocks to aid in a battle. The handsome second of the other squad there, Sunstreak, had been a FireClan mole. He got his commander killed, nearly framed Gorsefur, and almost killed me. I do not have fond memories of him. "Well," a voice drawls. "Look who we have here." In retrospect, the appropriate thing to do was wait until we were safely into WaterClan territory to start ranting. But I was upset and, so, we were standing almost on the border as we talked. At least we were on the WaterClan side. Sort of. Sunstreak regards us all coolly with narrowed green eyes. I can hardly remember the time when I thought he was...well, attractive. He still is physically, but there's something in his eyes that makes me want to run. I can still remember, his claws on my throat, telling Gorsefur to take the blame. If it hadn't been for the rest of the squad, we'd both be dead. "Get away from us Sunstreak," I growl. "Is that any way to treat an old friend?" he asks. His squad snickers behind him. I snarl and Oakclaw steps forward, "We jumped you once, we'll do it again." "And how did that go?" Shadowsong asks. "Oh yeah! You ended up in prison, almost dead." Sunstreak's grin falters and I feel a vindictive surge of joy. "We were to try and push the border here, and I figured there would be WaterClan resistance. But never in my wildest dreams did I think it would be you." "If you try anything..." Gorsefur threatens. "Against the squad who put me in prison, almost killed me?" Sunstreak laughs and I start to see the madness in his eyes. "Of course not!" He flicks his tail and his squad rushes at us. I'm stunned- lately it seems all we do is rescue missions and ambushes. The last time we had a direct, impromptu battle was what feels like ages ago. It sidetracks me for a moment, but I recover and hurl myself at a yowling tom. I hear the others, caterwauling and growling. I remember we're outnumbered- Stormflight and Grayleaf are back at the camp. Adderscar and Briarclaw aren't amazing fighters and since FireClan favors brute strength, its likely all the cats on this squad are bred warriors. Lovely. The tom I'm fighting manages to pin me, but, in a move I've been practicing for ages I throw him off. He flies through the air, hits the ground, and doesn't get up. Subconsciously, I look up, wanting Gorsefur to be there, for me to brag to, for congratulations. I don't see Gorsefur, but the others are still fighting. Adderscar's getting double teamed, but Oakclaw wades towards him. Shadowsong has already run off a she-cat and Briarclaw is holding her own. No sign of Sunstreak. I'm about to barrel through the forest to search for the two toms when Gorsefur appears beside me. "You doing okay?" Breathlessly, I nod. "Lil help!" Oakclaw groans. Gorsefur pelts for his friend while I race for a FireClan she-cat trying to sneak up on Shadowsong. Shortly, the FireClan cats gather on the border, nursing their wounds and glaring at us. "You can try to take the border," Gorsefur glares at Sunstreak. "But you'll have to get through us." Sunstreak snarls, hatred seeping from his every pore. "Don't think I won't try." His eyes slide to me, then back to Gorsefur as he smirks. "How did it feel? Knowing she picked me over you after knowing me for...what? Less then a day?" Gorsefur flinches and I bare my teeth. Laughing, Sunstreak retreats into the darkness. I find Gorsefur that night, sitting by the falls. It's a long walk away from where we're camped and it's not a peaceful spot, but I know he needs some natural turmoil to add to his inner one. The rushing waterfalls send a spray up into my eyes as I peek over the edge, then sit next to Gorsefur. "Nightmares?" I tease. He grins at me. "I just..." his claws dig into the dirt. "I just wish we didn't have to do this. It was easier when all the FireClan cats just hated us because we were WaterClan, you know?" I nod. With Thundercloud and Sunstreak and Firestar we'd racked up an impressive rogues gallery. We couldn't get a mission without having some enemy wanting to make us suffer. "I'm tired of it." Gorsefur sighs. "I just want to be a soldier, you know? I don't want to have to think about what I'll do if Thundercloud or Sunstreak tries to take one of us...tries to take you." His eyes meet mine and we look at each other. Is it my imagination, or is he getting closer? My heart speeds up and- "This is touching." We jump up, tails lashing, claws out. Sunstreak pads out of the forest, eyes aglow. "I was so hoping you'd come here, out of all the stupid, isolated places." "You're on WaterClan territory." Gorsefur growls. "Get off before we make you." "Oh, I'm practically WaterClan anyways. Four moons pretending and then nearly three moons in prison." his fur starts to fluff up. "Do you have any idea what it's like?" "Yeah, I do." Gorsefur says. "Every day," Sunstreak continues. "Questions and questions. They wanted me to give up my Clan, to tell them who else was a mole, who else was a spy. They would get angry. Seven moons away from my home, and what's my reward? Sure, Firestar breaks me out, but the damage has been done." He takes a step closer. "And all because of you two lovebirds." Gorsefur and I crouch. There are still two of us and one of him. But the Falls rushing behind me remind me how vulnerable we are. Sunstreak is thinking along the same lines. "Careful there, wouldn't want someone to...slip." he gets closer and Gorsefur takes a small step backwards. I feel one of my paws plunge into the air and I wobble. "Gorsefur!" He turns to drag me up, but Sunstreak catches him up in his jaws. My other back leg begins to slip and I try to dig into the mud with my claws, but it's so slippery... And then I fall. My haunches are soaked and the Falls roar below me, reminding me that if I loose my grip I will die a terrible, terrible death. I breathe carefully and start to pull myself up. I'm not the strongest cat, but adrenaline courses through me and I refuse to let myself die. "Brookfall, hang on I'm-" Gorsefur yowls, only to be cut off. There's a dreadful cracking noise and then only Sunstreak purring. "They said I went crazy you know," he says. "Apparently living in a hole does that to you. Apparently you start to fixate, to get yourself through you tell yourself to hold on for that one thing..." I hear his pawsteps get closer and I struggle to pull my flailing paws onto land. "This is my one thing. I want you both to die." Finally. My left back leg catches on mud and I push up desperately. With another big heave, I collapse on the cliff, muscles aching. Sunstreak stands a fox-length in front of me, whiskers twitching. Behind him is a lump of unmoving gray fur. Gorsefur... Rage courses through me. Gorsefur can't be dead. No. I look up to see Sunstreak leering before me. "I did honestly like you, you were funny," he continues. "It's cute that you picked me over him. Of course, it would have just ended better if you could've just died like you were supposed to." I stand on shaky legs and lash out with a paw. Not expecting it, he crashes down. I leap on him, howling. He manages to flip me, but I skid to a halt and charge. He obviously plans to dodge and let me careen into the Falls, so I veer towards him. The shock on his face is visible as he flies over the edge. And then his paw catches onto the cliff. He hangs there and I stalk forward. "This is the part where you beg me to help you up," I hiss. He shakes his head. "You don't get it. If you do, I'll come for you again." There's a flash of regret in his eyes and I remember Badgerstrike's words, "That kit was gonna go far...what happened to him?" "Maybe this is for the best." he whispers. And then he lets himself go, twisting in the air as he dives into the falls. I know I should scream, cry out, do something. But I just turn and pelt back to Gorsefur. "Gorsefur? Gorsefur?" I stop by him, prodding him with my nose. "Get up," I beg, tear beginning to threaten my eyes. "Please get up. Gorsefur." I start to sob, something I feel I've been doing too much of these days. "Please." I beg. He doesn't move and I curl up next to him, letting the tears wrack my body. And then, as it did when I had my nightmares, his heartbeat sings me to sleep. "Brookfall," I blink my eyes open. That sounds like...no, this must be a dream. I turn to see golden eyes blinking back at me. "Gorsefur!" I yowl. I go to tackle him, but he shakes his head, wincing. "Sunstreak broke or dislocated my shoulder." he nods to his shoulder which hangs awkwardly. "But...but I thought you were dead!" I wail, not sure whether to smack him or curl up next to him again. "You were in shock." he sighs. "I mean, you must have thought you heard me get murdered and then you killed Sunstreak..." "I didn't kill Sunstreak." I blink. "But..." "He's dead." But I didn't kill him, right? Right? Something tells me that question is going to haunt me for a very long time. "I thought you were dead," I whisper. "How could I leave you?" he purrs, but his eyes search mine. "I'd better leave you," I stand, wobbling. He looks at me, stunned and I grin. "I have to get Grayleaf to set your leg or...whatever he does." "Oh, right." "Just...I'll come back. Okay?" I want to say more, but I choke, stopping myself. "Okay." I dash away, embarrassed by my tears, my shock, my feelings. "We told them about Sunstreak and they left to go tell FireClan Main," Oakclaw reports. "Hopefully they won't be back." "And we got rid of Sunstreak, which is an added bonus." Shadowsong adds. I nod, not saying anything. There's a yowl of pain from the medicine den and we all flinch. Grayleaf comes out, looking anxious, "He'll be okay, just give it a few days." "Huzzah," Shadowsong and Oakclaw cheer. I look at my paws. Gorsefur almost died. Sunstreak almost killed me. I killed Sunstreak. "You okay?" Shadowsong asks, peering at me. "I..." It's not the first time I killed someone. But it's the first time I've done it without feeling anything. And that terrifies me. "I'm going to start heading back to Main." I stutter, standing. "See you guys there." They shout questions at me, but I just walk on. I need to think. It's not the first time I thought Gorsefur was dead. But I killed...or helped Sunstreak kill himself...in a rage because I thought he had killed Gorsefur. The tom I... The tom I what? I look at the stars, wishing I could just curl up with Riverkit. What does this mean? Category:Artimas Hunter's Fanfics